Learn to trust yourself again. Its been a while now since I’ve had this thought, this feeling that I need to get back to trusting my feminine intuition, my feminine wisdom, and learn to listen to my body again.
“Learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks” – Isaac Watts
Its not easy! It takes courage, it takes confidence and it takes commitment, but it is so worth it!
If you have children, a family, a partner, a household it seems like some of us float around going from one thing to the next just to get through the day. There is always something that needs to be done, tidied, cleaned, cooked. We put ourselves on hold unknowingly, waiting for the time when we take over our bodies again and reclaim our strength. We fall out of trust with ourselves and our bodies without even knowing it.
If you’re like me, it has taken me 10 years to reach this point, to begin to trust myself again, and I’m only just beginning to listen again. Now I love to sit and listen to what my body is telling me, it whispers to me, it gives me clues, it nudges me in the right direction.
“As women, we are taught at an early age to ignore our intuition, and trust in the wisdom of others instead. We’re also likely to be criticized for being too sensitive, too emotional, too dramatic, and too illogical when we’re operating off of our intuition. This constant barrage of criticism can cloud our judgment and make us doubt ourselves, and our instincts”. Michelle Martin
For years I ignored it, distrusted it, after all what did it know? I was fine, I was surviving, I was coping and I was getting it done.
I didn’t notice the hair line cracks that started to appear, didn’t pay attention when my cycle got wonky, my hair starting to fall out in handfulls, my weight start to creep up and settle around my tummy. I thought it was just a phase, it would go back to the way it was if I just left it right? or if I exercised more, or if I ate less…It was nothing to worry about. I knew nothing about pre or peri menopause back then and didn’t think to ask, after all it wouldn’t happen to me.
I guess I was lucky? I had got to 45 without any signs of my hormones changing. Having 2 young children likely helped, having them “late” in life. But then a number of major traumas happen in our lives and that was the tipping point.
It was all down hill from there (for a while). I knew the exact moment it started! I remember it so well. I had gone back to school and really wanted to do well. It was our first exam without knowing exactly what to study “study the whole book” the instructor said!
I sent myself into a tail spin. Going into the exam I was panicking, coming out of it I was a wreck! It took me 2 days to shake off the stress and feeling of “I’m not good enough” – and that was my catalyst for a year of continuing stress, that never let up, because I didn’t think I was good enough and I had to do better.
“Be your whole self; it’s your whole self that you can trust. This day, this week, this life—see what happens when you bet on yourself, when you back your own play. See what happens when you let yourself fall backward into your own arms, trusting that they will catch you”. – Rick Hanson. P.h D
I absolutely loved school, it was one of the best years of my life, and I took it very seriously, too seriously looking back on it. But I have learnt so much more from my experience hormonally than I could have learnt in school. I’ve lived it, I’ve seen it with my own eyes, and I’m coming through it.
I am listening now, I am tapping into my feminine intuition and energy and learning from it. Its a long road to take to balance hormones but its also a road full of enlightenment, possibilities, renewal and forgiveness.
Have you experienced a similar situation? Are you in touch with your feminine intuition? I would love to hear from you in the comments below.