Expectations can be destructive, expectations can be heart breaking, expectations can play havoc with your hormones.
I was at an event recently and before I left home I thought I had relatively low expectations for certain areas of the event. I knew the format somewhat for the conference and knew what potentially was going to happen for the most part. I felt comfortable, I felt safe, I felt excited.
The morning went off very well, I had some expectations that were met immediately so I was feeling great. Then the afternoon came and my one big expectation wasn’t met!
I had been looking forward to something in particular at the conference and although it was still going ahead I had not expected the conditions that came with it.
How did I feel when it was announced? Caught off guard, a little angry, my defences went up and I shut down.
Why did I feel these things? Because they were MY expectations, NOT the conference organisers. They likely had no idea I had certain expectations and how could they? I hadn’t voiced them, I hadn’t asked about it before hand so I knew what to expect and I had “expected” certain things to happen.
Has this happened to you before? Have you had, unknowingly, internalized expectations only to be “disappointed” when they were not met?
These types of expectations only serve to add more stress to ourselves, no-one else. The person who has potentially disappointed you more often than not has no idea you had these expectations floating around your head, but we put all the blame and hurt feelings onto them. We feel let down, we withdraw, we “make a stand” and internalize our disappointments.
If you are in the habit of creating expectations and not communicating these to the person/s involved, be they your spouse, work colleagues, friends etc you are going to be constantly disappointed.
We assume, presume, hope that certain things will get done, be offered, run smoothly.
For the sake of your sleep, your hormones, your stress I want you to get rid of this word as of right now!
This is a word that means you are putting your life in someone else’s hands, you are not in control anymore and this leads to stress! Stress will lead to you not sleeping well and this in turn will lead to hormone imbalances and potentially weight gain and anxiety.
Let it go, you cannot control how other people act or what they do, if you want to be in balance, sleep more effectively and live a life you love you have to let this word go.
Its hard and will take practice and I know you can do it!
Have you had expectations around an event, a person or something else that you would like to share? I would love to hear it. Leave a comment below.
With love – Maggie